Over Time

I received a certificate of completion yesterday for a course that I started last August. It was meant to be a 1 month course and it took me a span of 9 months to prioritize until it was complete. I started the course hoping it would prepare me for the work I was doing. What actually happened was that I learned what I needed to know as I was working. The course I finished this weekend, though still delivering valuable information, was now like a refresher of the things I had been putting into practice.

I've also been reading a non-fiction career book, quite casually, when I feel like sitting with a chapter. It has taken me months to get close to the end. I have about 30 pages left.

There's room in my mind for some sort of scolding; a question of irritation with a "why is it taking you so long?" flavor. There's equal room for concession or excuses -- "I've been working," or "I have other priorities," or "All work and no play makes you more dull."

Instead, I wanted to share what my mind chose that surprised me. My internal dialogue decided to say, "This course and book have been with me for many months. It's been pleasant to sit with these ideas over time, like having repeat meet-ups with friends; an opportunity to be reminded, to revisit thought processes, to schedule a moment learning with and from them. Learning should take time and I appreciate the time this has taken."

I've lived with other versions of internal dialogue who were more self-ashamed, more disciplinarian than the voice that spoke within me just moments ago. Her message was a balm and I think I'd like to hear more from her. I think she could teach me so much, over time.